12 days to go....

pray for Obama.
pray for the future of this country's good standing.
pray for this financial crisis and all the families going through struggles.
pray for Prop 4 not to pass (PRO CHOICE!) & Prop 8 to pass.
pray for the pointless war to end.
pray for the government corruption, and the terrifying bail out of wall street in this financial recession near another great depression.
pray for more energy efficient items, fuel cell, stem cell research, global warming...

the United States has a population of over 1 billion people, and there are so many issues that haven't been touched on by our government.

VOTE please! I'm unfortunately 17 so i can't play a huge role in voting for a cause but i sure can promote it because it is for the better of this country.

"VOTE OBAMA!"
*hopeful, wishful face with a worried feeling inside.*

i love the french language,
won't you teach it to me. ;)

im feeling shhlumpy, like a fat sloth on a log, a fat ass cow, a sick pig bitch.
that's how i feel.

like SHIT!

someone bring me back to reality.

i ♥ Los Angeles.

Once i graduate from Mills College, I will most definitely be back there for grad school. Its home. I can't see myself living anywhere else. I really enjoyed my time there and had so much fun! my Friends and Family made everything so much better. I saw Janet, Antoine, BFF Jasmine, and many many others. This party on Saturday night had so many little kids, i really felt out of place like i was in college and they were all still in high school. I MUST turn 18 soon! because i can't take this any longer!

I did great shopping tooo! :) I wanted these really cute boots from Steve Madden but i didn't get them. ohh poo, Ill get them this weekend. but yeaa that trip really made me appreciate the real reason why I'm here and made me always have something to look forward to every few weeks. I'l be back for Thanksgiving in about 4 weeks, that'll go by in NO TIME!

Some of my favorite snapshots.

yaaay! going home home home! i cant wait!
ill have many pictures to post this time i visit home, cuz ill actually have stuff to do! :)
Friday is my best buddy Janet's day, and Miles' homecoming football game. Saturday is hanging with Jasmine, oh how i miss her. and Sunday is Sushi (yummm) with family. and i finally will be able to do my hair! and get a good pedicure. and pamper myself...maybe even a new haircut ;). ahhh liberation feels so free! :) and i get to drive my car some more again! just gotta drive safe, cuz i think my license is suspended...lol. and then, i get to see my Pepsi! and some more of LA, just visiting home will be good for me. then i'll be back in another 5 weeks for thanksgiving, then 3 weeks til Winter Break of 6 weeks! yaaay!

its allll downhill from here, baby.

Mya! i love you. lol, she's my new found love. Song lyrics totally go with how i feel. I used to always listen to this song in my car. Now this is really how i feel... I really dont wanna move on deep in my heart but i know in my mind that i have to.

I'm starting a new chapter in my life without anyboys, new friends, and by getting straight As and Bs in college. I'll be fine in the end...

"but i gotta be a woman, i gotta get over you.
Im Movin On."

when will this feeling go away?
i feel like im stuck in place, and then again i feel like im floating through my days.
I spent 3 hours talking on the phone with him last night and barely did one drop of studying last night. and the thing is, i know how to do Lewis Dot structures! i freaking psyched myself out! :( i knew how to answer that question too. :(
I feel so stupid. i need to study extra hard this week and next week for my chemistry exam number 2. The only hope i have left is this exam, exam number 3 and my final to make sure i get that A. Ive never stressed over an A so much in my life. especially in Chemistry!! wtf.. but i want it that bad. and im gonna work for it. I gotta keep up with my labs and homework too, cant slack on those no-brainer 100% points.

Besides Chemistry, im pretty sure ill get an A in PreCalc and Calculus this whole school year because the professor is an amazing wonder! yet English of course (my worst subject) will most likely come out as a B. Speaking of English i have to write another paper for that mother fugger! yikkeees!

I love college. like i reeeeally reeaaally do. I keep hearing freshman year is waay easy compared to that dreadful sophmore year. yikes! that includes Organic Chemistry105-106, General Biology, my College 60 course in Fads and Fashion, (maybe Statistics if i want a BS in Bio or Chem), and frickin computer science if i want a BS. aggghhh!!! im gonna pull my hair out next year. Itll be my hardest year too. :(
Im ready tho, I need to focus on the now, can't keep thinking too far ahead. just one step at a time. And i really dont know if i want just a Master's right after Mills or aim for a PhD! ahhh so many doors open for science people with PhD's...its a way that i can be a doctor without being stuck with a D.V.M. or M.D. hmmmm i love thinking about my future. lol makes me smile inside because i know now that even though i'm putting all this money into college, it will all pay off for a secured future for me, myself, and I.

there's so much i wanna do, and i feel like there's so little time! im starting to like Mills again, and remember why exactly im here. I miss LA, but i know thats my permanent home, the Bay area is just temporary. these four years are gonna go by fast! i can already feel it! so im striiving for all the best now!

Its on and off. I dont know if this break up will bring us closer or make us grow far apart. Ive gotten to the point where i don't even know what i want. I know that i want him, but there are things that he does and says that make me feel uneasy. Its gotten to the point where i can't distinguish between if I am happy without him, or happy with him.

I know that if i can't have him, i wont want anyone else for a really long time. I know i need to focus on my next 6-8 years in school. So if he really thinks that he's such a huge distraction, then God's plan will take its course and ill be left without a boyfriend, but on a positive note I'll be able to move forward with my education, and ill just have to wait for my next reall boyfriend till im 23-25...which is still a pretty good age.

Besides Michael, I'm just stuck in this cross roads with what I wanna do with my life. I know I most definitely am going for 2 degrees in science... Bachelor's and Masters... or Bachelor's and Ph.D... Bachelor's and D.V.M. ahhhhhhh! and I dont know if i want to be a Biology major still or if i wanna switch to Chemistry! i actually LOVE Chemistry... hmmmm...idk. we will see Ive got plenty of time to decide.

I'm mad at myself right now. I've allowed myself to not have fun.
NOT good! I need to get out there and start making new friends. cuz this immobile shit that im doing, and the inability to provide my own form of transportation is NOT fun either!

so I'm sitting in my room doing laundry watching the color purple and doing homework. All this instead of Love Fest.

whoop-dee-doo.

let's talk politics.

There's the vice presidential debate tonight and I'm so there to hear exactly what the hell Sarah Palin has to say. She disgusts me. I just don't understand what McCain was thinking when he decided to have her as his running mate! She is so unqualified in my opinion, absolutely no experience at all, like who the hell lives in Alaska, with enough experience to run a country, second hand. This woman is an extremist who wants to take away tons of women's rights and basically she's kissing McCain's behind saying "yessa massa" to whatever he says! I as a woman feel insulted that he thinks he could possibly win women's' votes by just having a female VP. The said thing is, people will vote for him, for that exact reason.

Why is this world so racist! Like hello, were not living in the 1960's! its 2008! Times have changed, and its time for people to change. In my English class we has a reading called "Slavery, Race, and Ideology" and basically it was prematurely stating how unfortunate it is that people have this "race" thing instilled in their heads that dates back to times of slavery, and even though those times are over, the ignorant mind set of racial profiling, etc still exists. Which is sad because in my opinion, Barack Obama is an extremely qualified candidate. The only reason why he doesn't have as much experience as McCain is age! Hello!!! McCain at 72 or Barack at 46? C'mon now, no brain-er. lol. But besides age, his political views and points are amazing and i totally support him, even though I'm not even of age to vote, which totally sucks. :( He is ready to get ready of the old world policies and reform America and bring it out of this economic recession we are in. He's ready to make life in America the dream that immigrants come her for! He's ready to take us out of that POINTLESS and NEVER ENDING war in Iraq. I pray for the better of this country that Barack Obama is voted into office. His running mate Joe Biden is a pretty good guy himself. With Barack Obama as president, i think it will open up so many doors for America in foreign relations where as they will see they aren't dealing with just the typical old, white male, Its something new and fresh and can possibly break many racial barriers that ALL people still experience today.

I LOVE OBAMA and i wish that these racist critics and people and the media would stop manipulating this presidential election!
On a more positive note, here is a video encouraging voting for those who are not as informed and some pictures of Obama/Biden supporters in Alaska.





VOTE (obama of course)PLEASE. Its the only way things will get better for all Americans.

I'm going through a...

METAMORPHOSIS.