Love never fades, but heartbreak can bring you down.

So I have decided to move on. There's really no reason to just sit and dwell on the past. I'm now living for the future and moving forward. I love him very much, but right now is obviously not the greatest time for us. Today i decided to clean up my room and refresh myself. This doesn't mean that im gonna go off and start talking to tons of other guys. I need this time to finally identify with myself and enjoy being here at Mills. Once i go home in about 2-3weeks we will have time together to really finalize our decision. The time we will have apart will allow us to see what we truly want from each other. Although break-ups are really hard, they can either hurt the relationship or help it, Just like with distance and time apart. I really hope that either way i come out a happier person. I know im always going to love him though. All the great times we shared with each other...ahhhh to reminisce on these things still makes me get a little teary eyed. I dont regret falling in love with Michael, but i do wish that he could have trust for me. Without trust, there's no relationship. Thats totally something that i have learned. I think once you fully trust your partner, u are fully able to alow your emotions to run wild and love that person unconditionally.


I've also realized that I am now alone. Im here at Mills on my own, miles away from my parents. I can no longer go to my mom's room and cry to her when i've gone through a break up or if im going through a mental breakdown when school starts to become stressful. I needed this though, because I am growing into my own now and I need to learn how to live my life. At lunch and dinner i cant have pizza and french fries everyday, i cant just decide to skip class anymore like high school. Its the real deal. COLLEGE. its starting to hit me. lol...COLLEGE...cooolllleeggeeee! ahhhhh! 4 years of plenty of adventures and life lessons. Its only just begun.

guess who's back, back again. :)

so ive been gone for a while, oh well.
school started at Mills and things are starting to get intense. I decided to not follow through with the crew team, even though it would have been a great experience. maybe i'll do it next year.

but this past weekend i went with my friend Nicole a.k.a "Prudence" lol to visit her mom in sonoma.
its such a small town and i totally learned to appreciate living in the bay area and Los Angeles. This weekend i also realized the meaning of a true friend. And even though i lost a few, i gained one more. :)

Life here at Mills has been kind of hard for me since i've been away from home, but i think i will adjust by my second year here, especially when i have my car. But hopefully ill be blogging religiously again, because i'd love to have something to reflect on before the year 2009 comes around.